August 14th 2015
My brother-in-law Nick and I both enjoy burgers, beer and whiling our time away in pubs. One rainy Autumn afternoon we wondered how we could turn this to our advantage. How could we come up with an excuse, a reason to visit these pubs, eat these burgers and drink this beer, without feeling guilty. Without feeling that we really were wasting our time. What if we came up with something constructive during these visits? Something that would aid and assist the general public, if ever they felt the need to while away their time eating burgers and drinking beer in pubs.
"What about a blog?" Nick suggested.
"Perfect." I replied. "Excuse found."
"What about a blog?" Nick suggested.
"Perfect." I replied. "Excuse found."
Our first visit finds us straying south of the border into Lowestoft, to a pub described on the Internet as both a hidden gem and a fantastic watering hole, The Spring Tide. With our wives at work we had little option but to take our children with us, my almost three year old boy and Nick's just over one year old girl.
We are seated close to the indoor play area, which comprises a couple of spinning things and fiddle bits for the under 5's, and whilst Lucas runs amock within the confines of this space, Nick and I get down to business and order the food and drinks. Our rules are simple. Order a burger and beer each and record as many facts about the meal as possible. No opinions or similes, no ratings out of ten or bonus points for the barmaid smiling, just the cold, hard facts about the meal, (unless the burgers are cold and hard, in which case we may mention this in passing).
We are seated close to the indoor play area, which comprises a couple of spinning things and fiddle bits for the under 5's, and whilst Lucas runs amock within the confines of this space, Nick and I get down to business and order the food and drinks. Our rules are simple. Order a burger and beer each and record as many facts about the meal as possible. No opinions or similes, no ratings out of ten or bonus points for the barmaid smiling, just the cold, hard facts about the meal, (unless the burgers are cold and hard, in which case we may mention this in passing).
I order a chilli-cheese burger along with a pint of Marston's Pedigree (we're in a Marston's pub) whilst Nick opts for the Cowboy burger, washed down with Hobgoblin. I resist the urge to suggest Nick's choice of burger is in reference to his love of the film Brokeback Mountain, and instead set about recording our first facts of the day; price of meal and time taken to deliver to table.
The meals come in as part of a two-for-one offer, ultimately costing us £8.47 each including our drink. (They should have been £13.77 each), and some 19 minutes and 45 seconds later they're deposited upon out table.
I immediately count my chips -there's roughly thirty- while Nick works out their average length, which proves to be 6cm.
